I finally broke down and watched the Fifty Shades of Grey movie…uncut. Now mind you, I haven’t ready any of the books other than the free sample amazon gives. I tried but I just couldn’t get past the voice. Every writer has a tone to their writing and sometimes that voice doesn’t hold me. People probably have said that about my writing and that’s fine, I’m okay with that. You can’t please everyone.
Then there’s stores like Walmart putting the books literally next to the Children’s & YA sections. Yes, that’s what they have done in my area. It doesn’t matter that they are wrapped in plastic, the aisle is big enough to put it at the other end.
Sorry, getting off soapbox about my own personal opinions.
But back on track to the movie… There was huge hype about the movie (as there is about the book) but the moment people started watching it, they started crying abuse, physical & emotional. This had me curious about how a movie can make so many people say the same thing, or do they just not understand the lifestyle & misinterpreted it? So I bit the bullet and watched…
Now, I don’t claim to be an absolute expert at the BDSM lifestyle. However having written several erotic romance books with that theme I’ve done my research by lots of reading, talking with several who actually live the lifestyle, and I’ll admit playing with a toy here & there out of curiosity ;) I feel I have a decent understanding of the Dom/sub world. So here is what I saw as I watched the movie.
From the beginning to the end there was a tension to the entire movie. I’ve never really experienced that from a movie before, but the sexual tension was quite thick. I found that interesting that it could be conveyed through the screen. Says something about the actors. But please remember these are all just my opinions.
It’s obvious there’s an instant attraction between Anastasia & Christian. It’s like that in most romance movies/books. Nothing wrong with that. The point is to get them together in interesting & fun ways, and let’s not forget about the conflict.
Problem #1…Ana was a virgin! She was about to graduate from college and still hadn’t gone all the way? Okay, yes, there are some that are waiting, but where has she been to be so naïve? Stuck in Jane Austin books and old literature books? In today’s society sex is everywhere. Ana came off as a very sheltered girl, but she lived away from home & attended college. Hello…gotta have some exposure.
But then Christian “remedies” the situation by having sex with her – taking her virginity - and sleeping in the same bed with her even though he told her he doesn’t do that. Ana may have been ready for a sexual relationship but nothing as intense as Christian. The sexual part of a relationship is very new to her (do we even know if she had previous boyfriends?) but to throw in all these other limitations and rules, yeah the immaturity will of course show itself big time. Which it did with Ana. She didn’t understand why he did the things he did or even if what she was feeling was “normal”. Throw on top of it that she couldn’t talk about their relationship with no one. Come on, all girls need someone to vent to or just to compare notes. She lived with her best friend. They never once talked? Hard to believe.
Basically, Ana wasn’t ready for someone like Christian with her sexual immaturity.
Problem #2…Christian has been doing Dom/sub play since he was 15 with a friend of his mother’s? Really? So essentially she took him under her wing, probably a virgin himself, and taught him HER way of Dom/sub play. That doesn’t mean everything he did was right, but the way he was taught. Then she became his mentor of sorts. A confidant as he put it. But he also didn’t assure Ana that he was no longer playing with her anymore either.
Problem #3…Christian’s behavior. Yes, he’s a dominate personality, and with his money it’s easy to get what he wants, but his possessiveness is borderline control freak, in the worst sense. He butted his way into her life, upgrading her ticket without her knowing and sold her car without her permission, but not once did she tell him not to do it. The contract said Friday thru Sunday. What did it say about any other part of her life? Back to her being naïve, awed, and lustful.
Oh, and let’s not forget about him not explaining everything to her. Bondage takes a trust and that begins by everything being explained. Christian just wanted her to experience it but not really tell her why he was doing it. He was a bit too controlling for my taste.
Problem #4…The contract. The contract isn’t exactly the problem, but the way he insisted on it, yet still “played scenes” with her. Then Ana’s show of sitting down and negotiating it but still wouldn’t sign it just isn’t right. A contract – or laid out rules – is a very important part of a Dom/sub relationship. It could be the most important part. If you lay out rules, you follow them or get punished. Simple. Life is like that. You break the law, you go to jail or a speeding ticket. Yet, it came up time and time again, but she wouldn’t sign it. She wouldn’t commit to it. So Christian shouldn’t have played. Period.
Problem #5…No Aftercare!! After a scene (A time period of BDSM activities) there was no aftercare, which is defined as “the time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality.” Poor Ana got none of this. He just got out of bed and left her because he didn’t sleep in the same bed as his sub. There was little care and talking afterwards that we saw. No wonder she was so confused about his actions and her feelings. This is hugely important.
Those were just the main things I noticed and bugged me about the movie. I can see where people would say it was abuse, but he never once told her she couldn’t see certain people or that she couldn’t do specific things. Yes, he was irritated when he didn’t tell him about going to see her mother, but my man would be too. Hello, she called him when she was drunk. He tried to be a big presence in her life, wanting her to live with him on the weekends, but she never once told him no or to go away – until the end.
And excuse me, but she told him to punish her. She willingly bent over and counted each strike. She wanted to experience it. Then she freaked out. It was clearly killing him to do it, but he is one to follow through and she never looked at his face. Again…this is where abiding by a contract or rules is really important since punishments is a subject to be negotiated as well.
But then, their entire fight at the end didn’t really make sense to me anyway. All I know there were lots of emotions riding high and Christian refused to admit his love for her and Ana truied to make him do it when he wasn’t ready. *sigh* Yeah, that’s a big conflict there.
I’m always up for discussion on this. Thanks for letting me vent. Let me remind you that these are just my own personal opinions I felt I had to get out of my head.
Oh, one really good thing was that the sex scenes were hot! The actors had great chemistry … and a nice ass. :D