Zack was more surprised than Ryan when the words fell from his mouth. But he didn’t regret them. It was the truth. As much as he tried to deny it, try to ignore it, Zack realized he was very much attracted to Ryan. He lusted after him even though a very logical part of him knew he shouldn’t.
The revelation had come the week before. He was in a session with Dr. Parker. He’d finally gathered the courage to speak about what he could remember of that day that resulted in his near death. How Ryan had saved him.
At the time, he was barely conscious or in his right mind as pain and the loss of blood put a hamper on his awareness. Dr. Parker asked him how he felt about Ryan. He thought about it. When he pictured Ryan, he saw…Ryan. This was a bit of a shock. He’d tried not to think of him so much, scared that it would bring Rob and all the things that went wrong in the past couple of years. But now…there was no association. Yeah, Ryan looked very similar to his twin. If they wore their hair the same style and only saw them at a glance, yes, they would be identical. However, Zack knew they were as different as night and day. As ice and fire.
Some may think it sick or perverted of him, but how he saw Ryan was how he’d always wanted Rob to be.
“I like you, Ryan. I like you a lot.” He took a step, closing the distance between them. “I told myself over and over that I shouldn’t feel this way toward you. But honestly, my mind and body just won’t listen.”
It was now Ryan’s turn to appear uncomfortable, his eyes darting around and hands rubbing on his thighs.
“No. Don’t try to talk me out of how I feel. Don’t try tell me that what I feel isn’t real. Don’t try to rationalize this to you saving my life. Been there. Done that. And still I feel the same.” He dragged his hands through his hair. “Christ. I want you, Ryan. I masturbated last night thinking about you.”
Okay, maybe that was TMI since Ryan was staring at him, mouth open. His hands had stopped the rubbing motion, fingers curled into fists.
Zack took a step back. Yeah, too much, he thought. Sometimes he cursed his talent for not knowing when to shut up. Now, he’d embarrassed himself. Just because they’d shared a couple of heated moments and had become friends, it didn’t mean he wanted to hook up with his fucked up self.
Ryan startled Zack by jumping off the picnic table and pulling him into his arms. His hands instinctively went to Ryan’s chest as if to push him away, but the moment his gaze locked onto those most amazing steel gray eyes, Zack completely relaxed. The kindness and warmth they exuded told him that Ryan would never hurt him. Never abuse what Zack was offering.
Ryan’s mouth crashed hard on Zack’s. It was a demanding kiss, but as Zack opened for him, it softened. Zack fell into the passion of the kiss. Ryan’s hands went from his shoulders, smoothing down the back of his shirt, to cup his ass. Zack groaned when Ryan shoved his groin into his, telling Zack what kissing him did.
Zack felt lightheaded when Ryan finally broke the kiss, gasping. He hadn’t realized that his own hands had drifted up and into Ryan’s thick, brown hair.
“I don’t want to hurt you. Or make you feel…”
Zack placed his finger over Ryan’s mouth, silencing him. He didn’t want to talk. He’s been doing enough of that with his psychologist. Right now, he wanted action. Zack was strong enough to admit that he may not be ready for complete sex with Ryan yet, however, that didn’t stop him from wanting to pleasure him.
Without thought that people might see them, Zack dropped to his knees in front of Ryan. His hands shook, but he started loosening Ryan’s belt and tearing at the button on his pants.
Ryan’s hands fell on top of his. “Zack. I couldn’t ask you to do this.”
Zack looked up and met his gaze straight on. “You didn’t ask.”
I’m so evil to leave you hanging like this Muah ha ha! So you think Ryan will let Zack? Or maybe they don’t? *shrug* I guess you’ll have to wait until next week.