Monday, April 30, 2007

No throwing food...

There will be no new part to Second Chances today *ducking from flying objects*. Due to getting sick with a stomach virus and then a cold two days later, along with doctoring my loving husband who gave me BOTH this past week...the illnesses really wiped me out and I spent the weekend recouping. I'm telling you, it's just no fun at all to have a huge party Friday and couldn't enjoy it OR the loads of jello shots I made for it *sigh* Perhaps, next time. Oh, and I'm nursing a sick child today also to top it all off.

However, I am currently working on the new part and promise that I'll post it either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Also, a reminder, A Master's Love is being released tomorrow at Loose-Id and my newsletter is also going out sometime tomorrow. Make sure you sign up because all the information for my Spring Contest is in it along with details on how to win a copy of A Master's Love.

Be open to other possibilites.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Second Chances ~ Part 10

Happy Monday! Only four more days til Friday *G*

Part 10

Ryan walked through the double doors of the Alameda Police Department. Officer Henderson was at the front desk flipping through a magazine. It was late in the evening and all was quiet in town.

“Officer Hayes,” Henderson greeted him. They had already met when he responded to Rob’s apartment.

“I don’t officially start until the morning. So call me Ryan until then.” He gave the other officer a genuine smile. He liked the man. He’d been very professional and efficient at the crime scene.
He looked around at the empty lobby. There was silence coming from the room down the hall that housed the dispatcher. Yes, this would be an adjustment from New York City. Ryan hoped he wouldn’t become bored, but still welcomed the change.

“I was hoping I could see him before I became official.”

Henderson didn’t have to ask who Ryan was speaking of. They were all aware of who they held in a cell in the back of the building. Alameda wasn’t large enough to get a jail of its own. Misdemeanors were dealt with using a local judge. The felonies are usually shipped to Las Cruses, forty-five minutes away. However, Rob’s paperwork had been lost…twice. And Ryan had heard from his father that the judge was petitioning to take care of the case, hence, postponing the transfer. Ryan wasn’t sure if it were a good thing, or bad. But their father, a lawyer, refused to defend Rob.

Henderson scowled but nodded. “I figured as much. Come on.” He buzzed Ryan in and led him down the empty corridor. The footsteps sounded heavy in the silence. Ryan had not seen Rob since they hauled him away from his apartment.

Ryan hadn’t trusted himself much around his brother. He was scared he’d do something to jeopardize the case…or kill him. Now that he’d spoken with Zack, the anger hadn’t faded, but Ryan felt he could control himself long enough to confront his own nightmare.

Henderson unlocked the thick metal door leading to the eight holding cells. They were situated so that four were on the left and four on the right. There was only one other occupant, a local drunk who lay sleeping on the cot.

“Need me to stick around?”

Ryan noticed Henderson didn’t volunteer to unlock the cell to let him in. Perhaps he didn’t trust Ryan.

“No, I’m good. Just wait outside. I shouldn’t be long.”

Henderson nodded and left him alone. The metal clank of the heavy door echoed loudly. A shiver ran down Ryan’s spine. He would never get used to that sound no matter how many times he heard it.

Rob was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. Ryan watched his brother, neither said a word. They were nearly identical in looks, yet so different. It had always been that way. Ryan had learned very early that Rob had a mean streak in him. Even when they were four years old, Rob would push him off a toy because he wanted it. Even when he wasn’t going to play on it. Their relationship had been strained all of their lives.

“So, finally decided that you were good enough to stop by and check on your dear brother?” Rob’s voice was leaden with sarcasm, still staring at the ceiling.

“Just be glad that I didn’t kill you, Rob,” he said through clenched teeth. His nails bit into his palms and Ryan forced himself to relax. He hadn’t even realized his fingers had balled into fists.

Rob finally shifted his gaze to Ryan. He sat up and smiled. “You don’t have the guts, Ryan. You’ve always been squeamish and weak-willed. How many times have you been walked over? Never taking what you want?” Rob shook his head. “No, you haven’t changed. You aren’t a killer.”

Ryan kept his expression blank. He wouldn’t take the bait. He had changed. “But you are, Rob. You almost killed your lover.”

Rob shrugged. “He made me do it. Zack was cheating on me. I had to show him who was boss.”
The cold casualness made Ryan’s blood run cold. Rob saw nothing wrong with what he did. “I’m sure you’ll make a great bitch in prison.”

“I don’t think so, little brother.” He smiled as if he was hiding a secret. “I won’t be here much longer. Once my paperwork is finished, Dad will come and get me out.”

Ryan leaned toward the bars. It was his turn to smile. “I don’t think so. He said it’s time you fended for yourself.” Satisfied, Ryan turned and walked toward the door. “Have a nice life.”

“What? No!” Rob yelled gripping the bars. “Dad is coming. Just wait and see. He won’t let me rot in here.”

Ryan knocked on the metal door and two seconds later Henderson opened the door. Both ignored Rob’s roaring. Once the door was shut again, Ryan closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

“You okay?”

Ryan opened his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

Henderson nodded and led the way back toward the lobby.

“Night. See you tomorrow.” Ryan called out as he started through the double doors, only to nearly run over an older man. “Oh sh…um, I’m sorry, sir,” he started apologizing as he reached out to steady the man.

The man righted himself and Ryan realized it was his new boss. “It’s alright, son.”

He knew him though he wore jeans and a plaid button up shirt. His head was adorned with a cowboy hat.

“I’m sorry, Chief Mulligan.” A blush crept up his cheeks. Not good to almost bowl over your boss even before you start. “I hadn’t expected…I wasn’t thinking…”

“It’s okay, Hayes. My son and I was out of town a couple of days and I came in to get some paperwork. Listen, if you need to wait…”

“No, sir. I’m more than ready to start my shift tomorrow.”

Mulligan studied him for a moment, the blue eyes making Ryan a little uncomfortable. He nodded. “Alright. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes, sir. Have a good night.” Ryan said as he continued his way out of the station. “Great way to make an impression,” he muttered to himself.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Hump Day

I just read an interesting article in my latest copy of Writer's Digest. It was how to connect with readers and what venues the author thought worked well for her. What was really great about it, was that she mentioned Michelle M Pillow a couple of times along with a mention of Mandy Roth's name. Michelle is one of my favorite authors, so it's nice to actually see someone mentioned in these type of articles that I can relate to.

The week is almost over *whew*

Great things are not done by impulse. ~ Vincent Van Gogh (think plans through more carefully)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Do you Bebo??

Well, I tried last year playing on Myspace...and found I hated it. The coding was complicated to get a nice looking page, I found it a bit confusing at times when I wanted to change things, there were things on there I couldn't hide, and then, my net server/dial up HATED it!!! So I avoid it as much a possible. (though I have friends who LUV it - good for them *G* )

However, I found Bebo...and really like it so far :D With the use of skins (instead of hunting down codes and designs) it's easy to have nice colors and designs. It's easy to edit and even got created a 'widget'. *doing happy dance* There's a place to make polls, quizzes, a blog, and a flash box-I've not found something for that yet. There's even a white board you can draw or write one. How fun is that? Oh, yeah...and my net server/dial up likes it. I can access it easily.

I will be using it to promote my books and connect with other authors and readers. So stop by and be my friend (I only have 1 and I'm lonely *hee* )

Also, I'm working on my newsletter which will be out the first week of May along with contest information. So make sure you sign up for my newsletter.

Oh, and I'm hoping my new website will be up by then too. Still doing a little more touchup work on it before it goes live. But I'll let you know when it's up :)

2 weeks until A Master's Love release

Increase your understanding

Monday, April 16, 2007

Second Chances ~ Part 9

Happy Monday everyone :)

Part 9

Zack starred at each and every scar Ryan was showing him. Unconsciously, it cemented the fact that this was really Ryan and not Rob trying to con him. Rob’s body was smooth of such injuries and threw a hissy fit if he so much as got a paper cut. This man knew the nightmare of Rob. Had lived with the monster day after day, though Zack doubted it was escalated to the point of near murder. They were still youths after all.

Shifting his gaze to Ryan’s eyes, Zack saw compassion behind the unshed tears. An unfamiliar emotion in such familiar eyes. Possessiveness, contempt, anger, lust…yes, those all shined through without hesitation, but never compassion or even regret.

Zack uncurled his body, letting out a long sigh while his head fell back against the pillows propping him up. His body relaxed, fear smoothing over, but still he was hesitant to let his guard down. Yes, this man had saved his life, but Zack didn’t know Ryan. The monster could easily be hiding inside this man as well hidden as it did in his brother.

“Why are you still here, Ryan? You’ve seen that I’ll live. You’ve convinced me that you understand some of what I’ve gone through. What more do you want?”

Ryan stepped back from the bed and sat gently in the chair Maria had left near the bed. The man looked hesitant now. Rob would have never let any uncertainty show. He wouldn’t have ‘lowered’ himself to showing any sort of weakness. Zack realized he was getting a glimpse at the differences between the identical men.

“I want to help you. I want to make sure that you, I, or anyone else won’t ever have to have Rob hurt them again.”

“How?” Even though Rob was in jail, that didn’t mean he’d stay in there.
“Did Rob ever tell you anything about me?”

Zack shook his head. “He only mentioned that he had a brother a long time ago. That you’d had a falling out and never saw each other.”

Ryan huffed. “Sounds like him.” He stood and paced at the end of Zack’s bed. “I’m a cop, Zack. Perhaps it will help me get Rob locked up a long time for what he did to you.”

Zack closed his eyes, ready for all of this to be over. “You do what you have to do. I just want Rob out of my life and start new.”

Ryan stopped his pacing, looking at Zack. “I’m sorry, Zack. If I’d just…”

“Yeah, look…I’m really tired and want to get some sleep.” Zack cut him off. He didn’t want to hear the ‘Ifs’ of the situation. If he’d left a few minutes earlier, Rob wouldn’t have seen him. If he’d never taken Rob up on the first date, then he wouldn’t have moved in. If he’d never met Rob…Well, none of the last two hellish years would have happened, would it?

But Zack didn’t say that. What was the use? He knew he couldn’t change the past. Only try to forget and move on.

Ryan nodded and took a step toward the door. “If there’s anything you need, Zack. Anything at all, Maria knows where to find me.” He reached for the door and started to pull.


He stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Zack swallowed the lump in his throat. “I mean for saving my life.”

The smile Ryan gave was tight. “No problem.”

Zack’s glanced down at his arm. “When they release me, I’m going to Maria’s. She and her husband have an extra room.” He didn’t know why he was telling Ryan this; it just fell from his mouth. “I need time. Time to heal. Time to think.” He met Ryan’s eyes. “Don’t come back here, Ryan. Don’t come looking for me. When I’m needed for court, I’ll be there, but until then…I don’t…I can’t…” His words choked. Tears were welling in his eyes again. How could he stand seeing the face of the man who’d nearly killed him more than he had to?

“I understand,” Ryan said softly.

Zack watched him leave the room without another word; his shoulders slumped as if they carried the weight of the world. Or maybe just the weight of what his twin brother had done in his life. Tears streaked down his cheeks. Why was his chest suddenly tight? Why did it feel wrong to let Ryan leave with such a burden to deal with alone? Zack knew he had Maria and even her husband Charlie to help him through this. Who did Ryan have? Who would help him clean up the mess Rob left? Why should Zack care?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Who is reading Christine Feehan's Game series? I finished her latest release, Deadly Game. I couldn't put it down last night. I just had to find out how it ended (though, duh...the couples always get together *lol* ) But it confimed things assumed in the past books and I've got to say, besides, Gator, the Norton twins are the most intriguing (and strongest in my opinion).

Also, I received all 4 of the JR Ward -black dagger brotherhood- books I ordered last week. I'm anxious to get started on them, but there are edits to do and chapters to write *sigh* Oh, and let's not even talk about housework and the ironing I have to do. There's no rest, I tell you. *lol*

16 days until the release of A Master's Love

Never despair. But if you do, work on in despair. ~ Edmund Burke (this is not time to give up)

Friday, April 13, 2007

It's Friday

I've been bad this week with not keeping up with my blog. Sorry. My last assignment with my writing course was due and I had to get it done, so I've not been able to get to all I wanted to get to.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. We are actually staying home, so I hope to get some work on my Frost story done.

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap.
If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Those who know me...this shouldn't surprise you *lol*

Do not shy away from action you need to take.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Into Stories about Bands?

Oh, my...I do have to tell everyone about this series I read. Yes, it took time away from what I was supposed to be doing, but it was well worth it. I've never read a series that had to do with a Band before, so when my dear friend Steph suggested I read this, I was a bit hesitant, but hey...I'll try just about anything once.

The Band is called Blue Silver. The series consists of 5 books written by 5 different authors about the same night. The plot? 20 years after the Silverettes lost their chance to see the 80's British sensation Blue Silver in concert - along with back stage passes - the five friends get their opportunity to live the dream and meet the band.

*Behind the Mask by Ellie Marvel got me started with this series. It was a well crafted story written in Arliss's POV only. The only thing that could have made this better was a little insight into Robert's (the guitarist of BS) mind. He's an intriguing character.

*Lost our Forever by Natalie J Damschroder is about Cassie and the lead singer Seth. A story about love that wasn't really lost...just misplaced for a while.

*Making Noise by Penny Dawn is about Faith, a drummer obsessed woman and Troy...the drummer to BS *lol* Guess some obsessions never waver.

*No More Pretend by Jacki King takes us into Marci's night as she has some wild adventures with the bassist, Brad. Loaded with hotness!

*Nothing Like the Sun by Megan Hart is about the last, but not least Silverette finally meeting Julian, the keyboard player. This one had me smiling at Georgie and her antatics to ensure her one night with her childhood crush. One quesiton...Can I have Julian? *lol*

All five books were written well and fall together perfectly, giving different views of several of the same scenes. The writers did a great job. Oh, and all these books are available at Amber Quill. You can purchase them individually or together as a bundle (or Pax as they call it)

I will definately be interested in reading future books about music bands if they are as well done as these. :)

Thought of the day:
He who brings is welcome ~ german proverb (make a positive gesture)

Monday, April 09, 2007

Second Chances ~ Part 8

I hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend. As promised, the next part to Second Chances.

Part 8

Ryan waited two days before he attempted to see Zack. He spent his days getting his things settled in his new apartment. Thanks to his father, it had already been retained and ready for him once he arrived in town. All that it needed was his personal belongings, which wasn’t much. He’d left most of it back in New York to the person who was sub-letting his apartment there. It was apart of Ryan’s past. He was looking for a new start in his life and wasn’t sure he was doing such a good job of it so far.

The last two evenings, however, were spent camped out in the lobby of the floor Zack’s room was on. Maria didn’t know he was there, but Ryan watched everyone who came and went from the room, along with the time. Maria was the last to leave each night and he knew exactly what time she left.

As expected, she left ten minutes before visiting hours were over. His time would be limited at best and that’s if a nurse didn’t come in to disturb him. He waited a half a minute before moving toward Zack’s door, wanting to make sure Maria wouldn’t turn around and see him.

Ryan approached and looked through the small window. No one other than Zack was in the room. He slowly opened the door and slipped in. Zack lay in the hospital bed, left arm wrapped and lying across his chest, his right hand cradling it. His attention was to the window; unaware that Ryan was in the room. Ryan’s heart then jumped at the loud squeak the door made right before it closed.

“Maria,” Zack sighed. “I told you that I was fine.” Zack turned his head, his lips upturned with a smile. The smile instantly disappeared, fear replacing the mask of well-being he’d worn. “No.” The word barely audible, but Ryan could clearly hear the fright. “Please, Rob…no more,” his voice grew to be choked and became sobs as Zack made his body as small as possible.

“Zack.” Ryan approached him quickly, not wanting Zack’s cries to bring a passing nurse, but he kept his voice gentle, soft. “I’m not Rob. I’m Ryan.”

Ryan kneeled by the bed, his hand reaching out to Zack, but not touching. He knew he had to be gentle and as non-aggressive as possible. Looking into Zack’s fear riddled hazel eyes, Ryan wondered why it was so important he do this.

“Look at me, Zack. Really look at me.” Ryan spoke quietly, knowing that Zack’s full attention was on him. “Please, Zack. Look at me. See that I’m not him.”

Ryan waited, his outward appearance patient, but inside, he was a bundle of nerves. His time was running out. Would Zack see past the trauma his brother inflicted on him and see that he wasn’t Rob?

Zack’s eyes gazed at him. At first they were wide, but they did as Ryan pleaded. Zack looked at him. At first, his eyes flickered with dread, as if he was expecting a slap for looking, then the edges around his eyes smoothed.

“His brother.” It was almost a sigh in relief.

Ryan nodded. “Yes.” A quick smile passed over his lips.

“What…what do you want?” Though his body seemed to have relaxed slightly, he didn’t move from his curled, protective position. Weariness now flickering in his eyes.

“I just…” Ryan stumbled over his words. Now that he was here, what did he really want to say? What was so important that he was sneaking behind Maria’s back, against her warning to stay away, to say to Zack? “I’m not really sure what they told you. But I guess I just really wanted to see with my own eyes that you are healing okay.” His mouth was suddenly dry and his hands shook with nervousness. He had spoken to many victims in his line of work. It was part of the job. Why was it so nerve wracking now?

Zack’s body relaxed a little more, his legs straightening until they were only half way pulled to his chest. This made Ryan feel better about doing this.

“They are letting me go home in another couple of days.” Zack volunteered.

The tension in the room was thick. He knew Zack was uncomfortable with his presence and any time a nurse would come in and tell him to leave.

“That’s good.” Ryan swallowed hard before continuing. “I won’t even try to make excuses for what my brother did to you. It wasn’t right. But if you ever need someone to talk to. Someone who can relate to what he did to you, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

There, he’d said it. He’d offered help. Why was he still feeling as if that wasn’t enough? What more could he do? He’d saved Zack’s life, turned his twin in for attempted murder, and now offered someone to talk to.

“You think you can understand what I’ve been through?” Zack’s eyes suddenly blazed with anger, gone was the despondent look that had etched his bruised face. “You haven’t a clue the hell I’ve seen the past two years. The things he’s done to me.” His voice cracked and the anger quickly turned to grief. Tears flooded his eyes, only one sliding free.

Ryan took in the intense emotions Zack was showing, sensing that he’d withheld the flood of most of the emotional pains for some time. It made his chest tighten painfully as it threw him into his own childhood horrors.

Ryan rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Across his bicep was a long white scar that trailed down his arm ending just below the elbow.

“I was fourteen when I got this. When Rob pushed me through our glass sliding door because I’d beat him at a game of air hockey. And this,” Ryan pulled down the collar of his shirt to show the long ragged scar above his left collarbone that was about three inches long. “This is the warning my brother gave me when we were sixteen and thought I was trying to steal his girlfriend.”
Ryan stood and pulled up his shirt. On his right side, just below the bottom of his ribs was a strange shaped scar. Old memories were invading his head. Memories he’d thought that he’d exorcized.

“I was seventeen when I wandered into his path of fury again. The day a girl dumped him just before prom because she’d seen him kissing one of the football players under some bleachers. So, yes, I understand the rage Rob carries in him and how it feels to be the brunt of that anger.” He pushed down his shirt, his heart racing. He hadn’t planned on showing Zack his scars or showing him a glimpse of his own personal hell. Now, he looked down at Zack and waited the verdict, still baffled as to why he cared what this man thought.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I hope everyone is have a great weekend. This is a weekend for me and my family to spend together, so I've not done much writing. Back to the grind tomorrow - plus another chapter of Second Chances shoulde be up sometime tomorrow evening.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thursday Funnie

I'm sitting here watching the Yankee vs Devil Ray baseball game...and it's SNOWING!!! Here I am sitting in 80-something degree weather. It's hard to believe that it's still cold and snowing in different parts of the country in April.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, got anyspecials>today?"
Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink,invented>by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."
The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"
The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

Decide on your purpose and act.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

It was a beautiful day today About 82 degrees with a slight breeze. Perfect day for a bicycle ride along the beach. Which is exactly what hubby and I did. And let me tell you, it's not as easy as it looks. You are riding slanted and dodging the people on the beach - who some are just plain mean and delibrerately get in the way when they see you coming. I have the perfect bike for it. Wide tires and six speeds. Hubby...well, he's got the wide tires but no shifting of gears. Poor baby...we had to stop several times because his thighs were burning *lol* He may be able to bench press over 400lbs, but riding on the beach about kicked his butt.

I read my first DJ Manly book. Melting Ice (available at Mojocastle Press). What a great piece of fiction. I instantly fell in love with her characters. They are so well written, and the intimate scenes *whew...fanning self* H-O-T! I'm going to have to get more of her works once I raise a little more $$. Oh, and for those of you that don't know...she writes M/M love stories. Definately worth the time to check out.

Think awhile. New thoughts could help.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Second Chances ~ Part 7

Part 7

“Maria,” Ryan caught up to her as she walked down the hall. “How’s he doing?” He couldn’t stop the racing of his heart. “I mean, really doing? Not some medical bullshit.”

“With the help of the pain medication, he finally fell asleep. The doctor says he’ll heal physically, but he’s really freaked out. What the hell were you thinking barging in there like that? You scared him half to death. He thought you were Rob coming back to finish what he started,” Maria scolded.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t expect him to be awake. Then when I saw him…” Ryan bowed his head. Why was he caring so much about this man? Yes, he’d saved his life. Zack wasn’t the first abuse victim he had saved, but he was the only one to affect him this way. Perhaps it was because the bad guy was his brother.

Maria sighed, her shoulders sagging and the exhaustion etching her pretty features deeply. “Look, I know you want to talk to him, but I think it would be best if you didn’t. He’s going through a lot right now. He’s got a lot of healing to do, both physically and mentally. Rob put him through enough hell to last a lifetime.”

“I know my brother did horrible things to Zack. Things no one should have to deal with.” Ryan’s fingers nervously brushed through his short cropped brown hair. “I don’t know why this is so important, but I need to see him. I need to talk to him.” He confessed. “Maybe it’s just to clear my own mind, or maybe it’s to try and make amends for what my asshole twin did. Please…I just need to know he’s okay.”

Maria’s eyes searched his face. He didn’t care if she believed him. The words he spoke were the truth. Something compelled him to right Rob’s wrong.

“He’s not okay, Ryan. Don’t you get that?” she shot back. “He’s never going to be okay. Rob made sure of that. Zack’s forever reminded of the monster your brother was by the scars left on him every time he looks in the mirror. And I can’t even imagine what’s going on in his head. What Rob did to him that we can’t see.”

Maria looked as if she came to a decision. She pulled her shoulders back, straightening her posture and raised her head. “Thank you for saving Zack. I love him and I’m glad you were there for him. But it’s time to move on. Just leave him alone. It will be the best for all of us.”

Ryan watched Maria walk away. She was a mother hen. It was radiating from every gesture and word she spoke. But no matter how much she tried to hide her feelings, he had noticed the glistening of unshed tears in her eyes. The defeated look she had by being unable to help Zack sooner. Ryan knew how she felt. If he’d been just a few minutes earlier, perhaps Zack wouldn’t have been hurt as bad. Or maybe he could have stopped it from happening at all. Guilt. A familiar emotion.

Sighing, Ryan glanced at the closed door down the hall. Maria thought it best if he stayed away. Logic told him to do the same. But he couldn’t. Not yet. Not until he spoke to Zack face to face. Only then could he move on and make sure his brother paid for what he did to Zack.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

April Fools?

Here we are...the first of April but I'm not in a prankster mood, so no trick from me.

However, if you'd like a chance to win a copy of my book Trio of Tales: Erotically Ever After, go by The Romance Studio on Monday, April 2nd and enter their Book-A-Day Giveaway. Good luck!

Much caution does no harm ~ Portuguese Proverb (avoid unnecessary risk)